Over the past month, I’ve been putting in effort to my (non-existent) love life. I probably sound like a hypocrite since in one of my previous post I slammed Tinder and the whole dating scene.
Since I got back on the dating horse, I noticed how similar it is to job hunting, which was something I struggled with couple of months ago.
Here’s how I found job hunting and dating to be eerily similar:
1) Both involve searching
The search struggle was hella real. I recall my half-motivated self blindly skimming through job match notifications. It was similar to going through pictures of guys on Tinder. For job hunting, I was ready to click on the “select all” button to delete all the notifications. As for Tinder, my thumb would automatically assume a “swipe left” position. The only variables you can control on Tinder are age and location, others lie in the app’s algorithm of multiple men that pop up on your screen (only to disappoint you). This gives job hunting the edge over dating, at least I could fill in the industry I’m interested, what job scope I could narrow it down to, what salary range etc.
2) The threat of discouragement
Job hunting and dating are cruel and ruthless. What comes right after searching is often discouragement, well the threat of it. Going to interviews and dates are similar in a sense that both just gives you hope that you will land a job and you will enjoy the company of your date. Hope is a funny, misleading thing. Sure, it makes you feel good like whoa, you have one foot in the door if you get called for an interview or even the date goes well because it had great conversation. But when you’re left waiting for a reply from a company post-interview or even when you’ve been “ghosted” by a guy, that’s when the sense of feeling discouraged kicks in. So kudos to job hunting and dating, thanks for building up so much anticipation and hope only to make one feel like nothing.
3) You have to put yourself out there
Job hunting and dating naturally bring out anxiety (which is even worse when you have generalized anxiety disorder). A lot of job hunting and dating involves “putting yourself out there”. Before my current job, I never had a LinkedIn account. It gave me so much anxiety to have one because I was scared of being judged for my accomplishments (or lack of). It’s the same for dating. Dating involves a lot of first impressions, and for Tinder it’s mostly visuals. It makes me question why I sometimes base my self-worth on someone swiping. I guess we’re all judgmental in nature, but these two activities just heightened the feeling of being judged. It highlights the superficial element that comes along with it too.
If I were to spin it in a positive way, I would say I’m proud of taking the step of putting myself out there. I had to trample on my inhibitions before my anxiety tramples on me. It’s not easy. But heck, my shrink said she was proud that I went on a blind date and as shitty as some of my experience of job hunting and dating was, I’m proud that I gave those anxiety inducing activities a try. I owe myself some credit for at least giving it a go when initially me (and my anxiety) so hell-bent against both.